Spring is SPRINGING
In the cold Illinois air, the sun rays melted the snow away, uncloaking mud and dead grass as if it was revealing a promise of greenery and colorful flowers in the near future. When I was twenty-four, I would walk by it to the car in my worn out Docs or fake Vans with the bitter spring air biting away at any exposed skin.
But the splashes of signs that the weather would soon be getting warmer filled me with hope and excitement for the summer. The deep loneliness I had felt over the winter was melting away with the snow, but in those days, I had felt as if I was drowning in more ways than one. I had been feeling physically and emotionally run down. Physically from working long hours, but also feeling proud of myself because I knew it was going to pay off and it did, but at the time, I was so worried it wouldn’t. In between the drowning was moments full of life, reward, pure joy, and appreciating the little moments that life kisses us on the cheek with.
At the time, I was living at home in Illinois with my family and working two jobs I had never seen myself working, but both of them were very rewarding in more ways than one. I had never imagined my twenty-four year old self to be living in the small town I grew up in having to recreate a whole adult-version of my life there. In between moments of anxious wonder if my dreams were going to workout or not, I found myself living for the little moments and endlessly appreciating them. They were the joys that I had been looking for as I sifted through while living back in my hometown.
One moment was me walking around into the backyard where I was meeting my friend Stephanie where she and others were sitting around a firepit in the evening on a mid-spring Friday night. I had just gotten done eating dinner with my family at the local Mexican restaurant that was my favorite place to frequent. I had driven over from the restaurant for the next part of my Friday night. I stood around the fire with them before Stephanie and I eventually walked back out to my car where we drove to the liquor store to buy supplies for this particular Friday night. We walked around the aisles of the store before deciding on a bottle of white peach-flavored pre-made margaritas and a six pack Angry Orchard Rosé cider. We loaded them up in the car before making the short drive back to the house. Stephanie got her margarita glasses out which we filled with ice and poured the light pink drink over the ice.
Once both of our glasses were full we took them outside to sit around the fire and enjoy the Friday night. Margaritas around a fire in the middle of Illinois on a chilly, spring night was the combination I knew I wouldn’t forget, but it was nights like this that made me feel sane in the various moments I only felt twenty-percent in different aspects. This night along with other times of getting Mexican food and drinking margaritas with Stephanie, seeing The Friends Experience in Chicago, going on walks with my family and the dogs around the country roads, making trips on the train to meet another friend in Chicago, pouring blended up strawberries into champagne for my sister and brother-in-law’s engagement party at our house, or students making me laugh at work were all things I didn’t ever not appreciate and made the spring of 2021 so memorable and special.
A year later when the gloominess I had felt throughout 2020 and 2021 had faded away with the storm that it came with resulted in me feeling more confident in myself and my actions. I felt as if I could rely on myself more than me constantly relying on others and the fun, social times because now I gratefully consistently had those. The spring before having social plans were in my life again after not having them for so long because of you know what and moving back home where I didn’t have a lot of friends for a while. Now a year later, I was twenty-five and waiting for the orange subway doors to open up in front of me. I was physically faraway from Illinois and the life I had lived a year ago, but it wasn’t far from my mind or heart. The doors opened and my roommate Nathalie and I weaved ourselves off the crowded subway onto the Ibrox subway stop. There was a Rangers game in Glasgow that Saturday afternoon so the city was popping. We walked out into the sunny streets of the south side where our friend Rachel was waiting for us outside the subway station. Our group chat had been bubbling with messages throughout the morning on how plans for the spring day. As we walked away from the station, I was consumed with the feeling I get when I finally get to wear my Birks always intoxicates me with excitement for the upcoming warm weather.
We were all going to Big Feed which is a warehouse in Glasgow where vendors sell food and drinks. We sat at the large, wooden picnic tables after we ordered our food and drinks. We laughed and talked about our upcoming trip to Santorini and the plans for the rest of the night. I drank my two strawberry daiquiris and three delicious tacos before we walked back to the subway only for us to regroup a few hours later. It was one of Rachel’s friends’ birthdays that night so we were going out to celebrate.
Fast forward a few hours later into the night, we were sitting at a bar in Merchant City, Sloans with a bunch of other people to party the night away. The night turned into a classic night in Glasgow going from Sloans to the Piper Bar to ending at the club Mangos. Later after I power-walked home at 3:30 in the morning and sat in my bed with my cheesy chips. Friends was playing off my laptop as I slid my Docs off my feet. The cheddar cheese and mayonnaise was soaking the alcohol up as I watched the video that I was playing from my camera roll.
The video was of when I was waiting for Rachel and her friends to come crawling out of the Buchanan Street subway station dressed up for the night ahead of them. I was waiting outside the station on Buchanan Street with countless people bustling around me. It was a video of Buchanan street of the dozens and dozens of people who were going about their Saturday nights in the city enjoying the early spring evening. Seeing other people out on the town on Saturday night fills me up with gratitude because I was doing what I wanted to be doing. I was living in an apartment in a city surrounded by friends where I had plans on the weekend. It was proof it was an amazing spring day.
Another year quickly went by coating us with changes, dreams, and growing up. Now I was twenty-six and rushed down the steps of the gym. My soul felt full, adaptable, and flexible with all the changes that I had experienced and witness in the past year since I was drinking at the wooden table with Nathalie and Rachel. Or even the two years since I sat on a Chicago rooftop with my friend as we sipped our drinks enjoying the beautiful spring day relishing in our days off. I pushed open the glass door in my Adidas, running shorts, and red crop top. The sun was beaming down the Manhattan streets and onto my bare skin causing sweat to cease up. It felt as if the sun was feeding my veins of true bliss and happiness. It was over eighty freaking degrees outside, and I couldn’t be more in love with it. I started my walk to Central Park from the gym weaving in and out of everyone else who was outside enjoying the sun on a Wednesday afternoon. I couldn’t have been more excited and grateful to have the day off on the beautiful, sunny day. Excitement was truly boiling inside me as I got closer and closer to the park. I truly wanted to start jumping up and down about how excited I was. Nothing could damper my mood that day, and nothing did.
Because here I was in New York City under the sun living my dream. Summer was approaching, and I couldn’t wait to have my first New York City summer fill a jar full of memories like they did on Match Made in Manhattan. This day was hinting at it, and dangling the summer in front of everyone in New York City.
I walked through the park and tried to be a wholesome girlie by ordering a beverage that had no alcohol or caffeine in it. I ordered a strawberry banana smoothie from a cart that cost eleven dollars. Let’s just say, that’ll be the last time I’ll be doing that because I shouldn’t be spending eleven dollars on smoothies. I grasped the cold drink under my sweaty fingers as I walked over to a cement bench to sit down. I sipped the eleven dollars down my throat as if I was trying to contain how freaking excited I was that I was living here, and it was beautiful outside!!!!
If I’m being honest, I’ve never been a huge fan of spring for various reasons. For one, that I think it’s overhyped because a lot of the time it’s cold, windy, rainy, and gloomy with a few nice days sprinkled in. But I’m extremely grateful for those nice days and it’s teaching me now that I’m learning to enjoy it more.
Needless to say, I’m so grateful for every spring that has presented itself to me dangling promises of summer memories in front of my face as I try to jump up and grab them.
And spring? It might not be so bad. Maybe.
But it did torrential downpour on me this morning on my way to work.
Like I said maybe. ;)
Until next time. ;)
